Photo by Kevin Trotman

Today, as I was attending my Personal Coaching Styles Inventory Certification course, we listened to a case study in which a very frustrated manager was talking to his coach.   Imagine, that it goes something like this:

“I was going over the project plans.  While most of the projects are right on target, there are some that just never are.  I was giving the project managers who always miss their dates a hard time, and then we get to the new guy.  I mean, he was supposed to be some hotshot, but I don’t see it.  We get to his project, and nothing’s getting done. I mean, this guy must be walking around with his thumb up his &%^$ to have the same lack of progress week after week, which is what I tell him in the meeting.  He looked a little uncomfortable, which is good, because he doesn’t ever seem to be phased by the project slipping.  Now maybe he’ll think twice about coming back to this status meeting next week and get some results this time.”

What was your reaction to this?

If you’re results-oriented or used to that kind of an environment, you probably thought nothing about it.  If you’re more people-focused, you probably cringed.  I came from large corporate where we were supposed to have thick skins, where humiliation was all in a part of a day’s work, am vey results-driven, and I still cringed.  And, I’ll admit that my first reaction was a combination of “Argh, what a jerk, and argh, you really can’t see how public humiliation could make him feel powerless and therefore backfire?”

So… judgment.  We all have it.

What judgments did you make?

I believe with all my heart that organizations don’t have to be this way and that this isn’t the most effective way to motivate people.  Most people learn through their experience the behaviors that worked to get them where they are.  Unfortunately, many times, what got them here won’t get them there, and people end up hitting a wall and at a loss about what to do next.  The upward progression stops, even though they think they’re doing the right things.

I build leaders to do something different, and my challenge as a coach is to set my judgments and filters aside as I partner with people to see for themselves when their behavior is working for them and against them.

In this case study, the director has hired a coach to work with the manager on his “approach.”  This is exactly the type of client I am often hired to help, that is, when the client didn’t come to me on his own volition.

In that light, my first response might have been “So, how’s that working for you?”  It might also have been a softer approach, such as, “Why do you think your director brought this to your attention?” or “How can I help you think this through?”  The point is, that we as coaches have to set our judgments aside; it’s hard to be constructive and loving to someone whom you think is a jerk.  We have to get to the heart of the matter, and that’s only done by building trust, which means, leave the judgment at the door.

This was a good reminder for me to be responsible to what I bring to the table, and beign aware of how my communication style and values can get in the way of honest communication.

This is a good lesson for you managers out there, too.  What do you bring to the table?

Be Your Best You Today,

Carolann Jacobs

p.s,. – If any of this is resonating with you, as a manager or as a manager of managers who could use some help with their “approach,” call me for a complimentary consultation today.