Tips For the Managewich: Don’t Kick the Dog

Sep 1

Ever had that experience where your manager got reamed by a customer, peer or her manager and then turned around and took it out on you?  It gets the expression “kicking the dog” because it’s basically taking out frustration on the defenseless.

Those of us who aren’t that resilient have known for a while that this is a derailer of productivity and a behavior that is predictive of mediocrity because we’ve sat in our little neutrally colored cubicles and stewed about the unfairness of it and wasted time reviewing what we should have said or done differently.

Now, neuroscience has provided us with new insight (and really cool pictures) of what happens to the brain when “negative” social situations occur.  Our brains process this social pain in the same way as physical pain.  Ouch.

In David Rock’s latest article “Managing With the Brain in Mind,” he describes research from Naomi Eisenberger and Matthew Leiberman which indicates:

“The human brain is a social organ. Its physiological and neurological reactions are directly and profoundly shaped by social interaction. Indeed, as Lieberman puts it, ‘Most processes operating in the background when your brain is at rest are involved in thinking about other people and yourself.’ “

What does that mean to you in the Managewich?

The old Command & Control school of leadership says that people get paid for a job.  The relationship is transactional.  Do work.  Get paid.

What many of us in the managewich have always known is that the brick and mortar workplace is a social system.  For most of us, it isn’t purely transactional (as much as the messages from all around us would like for it to be), and we’re not happy when it is.  This is the “making a contribution” part of work that’s independent of money.

When we like and respect the people we work with and feel appreciated, we go the extra mile to produce for them.  We work hard not to disappoint them.  We may do more when they need our help.  When the converse is true, most of us do what’s necessary and little more.

Here’s what the science tells us:  People who feel betrayed or unrecognized experience the same neural impulses as someone who’s been hit.  They withdraw. They become reluctant participants, which creates the transactional workplace that companies think they want.

Since the brain experiences work as a social system, how can you in the managewich leverage that to improve your productivity, manage less, and create teams of people who are engaged, motivated and happy to work for you?

Here are some things you can do today:

• Adopt an attitude of gratitude.  Yes, you’ve heard it before, but thanking people for a job well done helps them to feel appreciated and not taken for granted.
• Help them to see how they’re making a contribution, especially when you ask someone to do a task that they feel is beneath them or unpleasant.
• Never kick the dog.
• Remove the words “suck it up” from your business vocabulary, and recognize and acknowledge events that cause emotional pain, such as harsh reprimands and threats of job loss or pay reduction.

To upgrade your behavior and to really leverage the brain at work, learn how to provide feedback in a way that people feel empowered and confident.  Delegate to maximize your staff’s talents, so that they can feel successful more of the time and do their best work (and get that managewich stuff off your plate).  Become more resilient yourself, so that the $#!t doesn’t roll downhill and contaminate the troops.

Be kind to your dog…. and Be Your Best You Today,

Carolann Jacobs

Tags: Action Coach, business coach, Career Coach, Carolann Jacobs, coaching, Corporate Coach, Dallas, DFW, Inimitable Leadership, Inspired Middle Management, Inspired Workplace, Leadership, Legacy Leadership, Life Coach, managewich, Middle Management, middle manager, vivid epiphany