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Giving up “Because”, Keeping the F-Bomb

Many of you may know that I am on the path to earn my Master Trainer’s Certification in Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP).  For those of you who are unfamiliar with NLP, it is model which explains how we process information that comes to us from the outside (and our internal Negative Nelly).  As both an ever evolving person and as a practitioner, I am working on being more deliberate with my use of language.

Along the lines of Taking 100% Responsibility for My Life, I’ve removed some words from my vocabulary. Here’s a quick synopsis for those of you who will now be reading my blog religiously (hehehe, just kidding):

  • “Can’t”  - For most things, it isn’t that we “can’t” do them, it’s that we “won’t” do them or we “choose not to” do them.  When we tell our unconscious that we “can’t” do something, our unconscious says “OK, you can’t do that” and then helps us to achieve that.
  • “Try” – In the words of yoda – “Do or do not.”  ”Try” puts the seed in our minds that success is optional.  Replace with “will” or “will not” or if you seriously won’t commit, “will put forth my best effort.”
  • “But” – and it’s close cousin “however.”  This word negates the entire sentence before it.  I use it selectively and intentionally, when I want to replace the preceding idea.  Replace this word with “and” because that’s what’s usually true.
  • “Should” – This word is “could” with shame attached.  I don’t “should” on myself.   The other thing I notice when I want to use the word “should” for someone else, it’s an indicator that person is breaking one of my rules.  It’s a choice point for me about what I want to do next.

So, my new word on the restricted list is “because.”  Like “but” and “however,” this word will now be used intentionally and selectively only at those times when there is a true causal relationship as opposed to a choice point.

Example of an appropriate use of because in a true causal relationship:  ”Ice formed on the pond because the temperature was below 32 degrees F.”

Example of an inappropriate use of because in a choice point:  ”I didn’t get my blog written because I watched TV all day.”  Watching TV all day was not the cause of my blog lacking it’s post.  The cause was my choice to watch TV all day.

The more exact sentence then is “I chose to watch TV instead of (or over) writing on the blog.”  Got it?

And I’m not kidding about hanging on to the F-bomb.  It has impact when used with intention.  I’m still working out the negative energy and it’s impact on water molecules.   It’s right up there with eating meat.  Objectionable on one level, delicious on another :)   Ah, well, that’s a topic for another day.

Be Your Best You Today,

Carolann Jacobs

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