What tends to happen in frightening circumstances is that we pull in, physically and mentally.  We play not to lose.

Making decisions out of fear is the hallmark.   Many times, we know these decisions aren’t good ones, but we make and commit to them anyway, because we’re afraid of losing.

What this looked like for me personally was staying in a job that I despised, that was ruining my health, that clinically depressed me, because I was afraid that I couldn’t earn what I needed to earn by leaving.

For small business owners, what fear-based decision-making may look like is not investing in things that will grow the business, such as advertising, marketing, or training.  What if it doesn’t work?

For larger organizations, fear-based decision-making manifests in large groups of employees hunkering down, laying low, hoping that they won’t get laid off.   There’s a pervasive belief that sounds like, “If they don’t remember that I’m here, they won’t lay me off.”   That leads to mediocre work in a climate when people need to be at their most effective.  It also leads to people withholding their good ideas, because speaking up looks like standing up.  That might get noticed.   There’s little improvement at the level of leadership where resources are invested.   Playing not to lose means not investing, even with proven return… because that requires investment which denotes risk.

Another hallmark of playing-not-to-lose is focusing on what we don’t want instead of what we do want.

Here’s what’s dangerous about that.  We get more of what we focus on.  That’s because our unconscious strives to create that on which we focus.

Imagine that power in the collective mind.  Do you really think this recession would continue if all of us collectively believed that we could sustain hires, that the market would be better?  How would you spend your money differently if you were reasonably assured that more money would be coming in?

The other issue with playing-not-to-lose is that once we get far enough away from losing, the sense of urgency goes away.  I know this just from my relationship with diet and exercise over the years.  I don’t want to be fat, ugly and decrepit.  So, I do what needs to be done.  Two years ago, I lost 40 pounds.  I wanted to lose 50, and somewhere around the 40 pound mark, there was much less danger of being fat and decrepit, so it was OK to have some wine and chocolate.  And when 5 pounds came back on, I could lose it next week.  Well, here we are again, and the sense of urgency didn’t come back until that last pound came back on.  Folks, this is what happens in our businesses.

And, as you know, as we practice behavior, the neural pathways get created in the brain and it becomes habit!  Imagine that in the collective conscious of your organization.

This is not the time to hunker down and hide.  This is the time to play like you mean it and play to win.  You can’t afford not to because those who are playing full on, playing to win, they are going to win big.

Be Your Best You Today,

Carolann Jacobs

General McChrystal’s scandal as reporting in a  Rolling Stone Magazine article provides a great study for those of us in organizational leadership because he so publicly and blatantly broke most of the unwritten corporate rules.  (although he did break a very written rule: UCMJ, article 88)  and because he is clearly one of the best and the brightest.  Folks, he was probably right about the strategy in Afghanistan.  What this shows us is that being the smartest person in the room and being right doesn’t mean we’re going to win.

That’s a hard lesson for those of us who think and want to work in a meritocracy.   Meritocracy is a LIE in most corporate cultures.  Personally, I find it repugnant and antithetical to all that I stand for in terms of creating inspired workplaces…. and in the world of today, work is a team sport, like football, and for the most part the same rules apply.  Part of team sports is knowing when to break the rules to win.   McChrystal sure blew that one, didn’t he?

Let’s start with the cardinal rule team sports and corporations.  Every team has a coach and players.  People play positions on the team, and they are not all equal in status.  Like it or not, the President was the coach,  McChrystal the quarterback.  His role in the hierarchy was to do what the coach wanted him to do and lead the team to achieve the goal.  Call the plays.  Execute.  Questioning authority and making your coach look bad violates the rules.

In team sports, when you undermine the coach, you get thrown off the team.  If you’re a good enough talent, the coach might put up with it for a while (think Terrell Owens), but eventually… buh-bye.

Another rule, when the game is over, it’s over.  Win some, lose some.  When you lose some, leading a report to the press about wanting more troops is tantamount to declaring war.  It’s a career limiting move to bully your boss like an Afghan general.

Another way to get yourself benched is to piss off the rest of the team.  It’s funny how people like Karl Eikenberry and Joe Biden don’t want to play anymore after they’ve been outed in public.

Final rule… if you’re going to break the rules, don’t get caught.

Understanding the rules in your organization is essential for your survival and advancement.  When you understand, you can decide whether and how to play the game.  When you don’t understand, you may never know why you’re stuck.

Be Your Best You Today,

Carolann Jacobs

Many of the people who call me looking for coaching services are miserable in their jobs, have been for a while. They’re fed up and burned out. They want to quit.

I don’t blame them. I stayed in a job and a company that I *hated* because the money was good, because I was two paychecks from losing my ability to pay for housing, because the job market sucked and because every so often through the haze of fear, I’d get a glimmer of hope that it would get better. It didn’t.

It’s pretty shocking the risks people will take when they think there’s nothing to lose.

Owning your own business isn’t for everyone. It takes resources, not just financial. Trust me, it’s a rare person or product where simply hanging out the shingle attracts enough business to earn a living.

Most people who start a business from this mental place are doing it to get away from corporate and it’s culture of fear and mediocrity. Many simply want to replace their corporate income. Away from usually isn’t a powerful enough motivator to create success.

The good news is that you don’t have to leave the cube to find satisfaction and contribution in your work. (And, if you have a job now, you’re in a perfect position to explore a change.)

It starts with figuring out what motivates you. What are your values? Your beliefs? Your belief systems? In what ways does your job enable you to live your passion and purpose? For that last question, the answer may be that it provides the funding… and that isn’t wrong if you are living your passion and purpose outside of your job. Now if you’re wandering around your life like you wander around the antique store hoping that something will jump up and catch your eye…

The next step is figuring out how you contribute to the environment that’s around you. Is the culture really terrible? Could it be that’s your filter? Perhaps a company that’s aligned more with your values would be better?

Point is, for many “corporate drones” escaping the cubicle nation isn’t feasible and living as a burned out husk isn’t either. Time to get back in the driver’s seat and steer your bus in a better direction.

Be Your Best You Today,
Carolann Jacobs

Corporate America has taken one of it’s better opportunities for engagement and celebration and turned it into a administrivia-laden stress-inducing B.S.-laden process that’s designed to control compensation as opposed to inspire great performance.  In the end, most people feel demoralized.  (If your experience is different, I’d love to hear about it.)

All that said, you have the power to make the experience different for your folks, and I recommend that you do.  Here are three things you can do this year to make the annual review a win for your staff:

Understand thoroughly how the performance management and review process works in your company.  Rarely does it work the way it’s documented, and be very candid with your staff about what’s involved.  For example, most companies don’t disclose that they score on a bell curve (I.e. there are only so many “Exceeds” to go around).  This is important for setting expectations, because you may think that Jane walks on water, but Jane’s “Exceeds Expecations” may get reduced when management 3-levels up makes the final cuts.

DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT (did I say do not?) promise anything about raises, promotions, or bonuses unless they have been approved by HR.  I mean it.  If there is a place to get burned, this is it.  What happens is that you want to be a good guy and you tell someone to expect good things, and then, later in the part of the process that you’re not involved in, your person gets knocked down to fit in the bell curve.  Not good.

Acknowledge and celebrate successes.  Do it privately in the review.  Hit what’s good about that person hard. Look for opportunities for development (“how you can be even better next year”) as opposed to ways to make the person wrong. That said, if there is a true performance issue, be direct and kind and address it. Have a team lunch or pot luck or conference call to celebrate your team and your appreciation of the efforts they make and who they are.  One thing that one of my clients did that I think is really special is that she wrote down 2 or 3 things that she appreciated about each person on her staff and shared that at their final meeting for the year.

Here are three things you can do for next year:

Plan for success.  Create goals and objectives that are meaningful and doable.  If your success depends on another group, get together and align those goals.  Nothing like getting left holding the bag at the end of the year, yes?

Teach your staff how to write out their accomplishments in the STARS format and have them do it throughout the year.  It’s good for their resume, and it makes life easier for you.  You’ll have a mostly filled out review at the end of the year.  Review these along with performance issues during the year. You’ll have your comments all ready to go.  And, you’ll have much more specific documentation at your fingertips for when it comes time to influence others as to why your people deserve raises and promotions.  There is little better for managing down than getting people raises and promotions.

And, for next year… if you lack the influence and negotiating skills to get wins for your staff, consider putting that on your personal development plan.

This year, I am going to do something special.  At this time of year, I offer a “Close Out the Old, Bring in the New” complimentary consultation for anyone who wants to set themselves up for success in the coming year.  In addition, this year, I am going to send the accompanying worksheets to all of eZine subscribers.  If you’re not a subscriber on the eZine (and I don’t know why you wouldn’t be if you love my blog), I’m giving you fair warning so that this is coming so that you can receive it.   Sign up right here:

Be Your Best You Today,
Carolann Jacobs

I’ve gotta tell you, when I look back over the course of my corporate career, there were a lot of things I would do differently, mainly around conflict management, negotiation and feedback.  I wish I’d had better examples and mentors.  In the craziness of never having enough time to do what I needed to do, there were many times that it felt like I was blindly feeling my way around the fun house.

So when I set out to create a group program for middle managers and mid-level executives, the starting point was what would I have wanted in that type of program so that I could be the person I wanted to be and show up in the world the way I wanted to show up.  I looked at what I wanted from my managers, in terms of behaviors and development.  I then did market research around the challenges, conducted informational interviews with managers in the field, and observed the recurring themes with my individual clients, and what I found is that most leadership books assume a certain base level of skills and behaviors that most of us don’t have and don’t have the opportunity to develop!  (Explains why there is such a dearth of promoting from within, doesn’t it?)

I created a program that helps my clients perform better and get promoted, because they work smarter, think more strategically, help others to think better (which helps them to get more done with less management involvement and creates opportunities for them, too).  It’s about People, because Process and Product take care of themselves.  Here’s some of what’s in the program:

And so, the Improve Performance NOW! ™ group program is born!  Now, it’s time to raise the baby.  I’m looking for a select group of no more than 10 middle managers and mid-level execs to participate in the beta program starting in January.  This will be a tremendous personal development opportunity, and in exchange for helping me to iron out the kinks, I am offering this program basically at cost to me.

There will be two hour-long information sessions titled “Manage Brilliantly From the Middle.  Find Your Voice in Corporate America Without Screaming!” held in teleclass format.  I will make sure that you will leave with some goodies, regardless of what you decide about joining the program.  Here are the dates:

One lucky middle manager who attends one of the two live calls will WIN A PAID SEAT to the beta program starting in January.  Now, you guys know… I’m not one of those hard-sell types who plans to waste an hour of your time selling you.  This is a content-rich call, and I invite you to participate, regardless of whether you’re thinking about embarking on a coaching program.

I’m not kidding about only ten specially selected managers in the launch of the program.  If you want a steal of a deal to attend a valuable program in exchange for helping me “polish the apple,” let me know by registering today.

Be Your Best You Today,
Carolann Jacobs

p.s. – If you want to read more or are having trouble registering here, visit the program site www.improveperformancenow.com

Photo by Joseph Shemuel

Team Player is one of those phrases that we all assume we have the same definition for.  It’s one of the performance management buzz-phrases that shows on reviews and on job descriptions.  And, we all think we know what it means, but do we?

I was watching a video the other day of Pat Heim talking about gender differences in leadership.  Thank you Marsh Clark (another awesome coach) for bringing it to our networking group.  It reminded me that not only do we have definition differences based on gender, we also have them based on culture and our own personal experience.

How many times have you witnessed an argument in which both people were actually arguing on the same side?  Often, the culpret is misunderstanding of the other person’s meaning of the word.

So, team player.  What does that mean to you?

To me, it means that we all work collaboratively together in support of one another and individually on our contributions to benefit the success of the whole.  I was SHOCKED to find out that it didn’t mean the same thing to other people.  Who knew?

So, one of the other definitions I heard of a team player is someone who knows her place on the team and what role she plays, and delivers in that position.  How interesting!  It’s like we’re all on a soccer team, or something.

You can see how these differences could create misunderstanding or frustration.  As someone on a team, it would infuriate me when individuals worked singlemindedly on their piece of the pie without regard to the success of the whole.  In retrospect, they may have been operating on their own understanding of what a “team player” is (and I’m willing to concede that they may not all have been self-consumed jerks).

So, in an interview, in goal-setting, in performance reviews, and in any other place where a well-known term like “team player” or “work-life balance” or “excellent communicator” is used, ask the question:  “What does this mean to you?”  It could save you an argument, a negotiation, a job…

Be Your Best You Today,

Carolann Jacobs

p.s – Thank you, anonumous client, for participating with me in the conversation that reminded me of this.  (My clients kick a$$ and take names.)

Jim Bumgardner

There’s a new study out last week that shows women consistently underestimate and undervalue their own performance at work.  It gets worse the older women get, so the women who are most likely to break out of middle management (the “managewich”) and into the executive ranks are sabotaging themselves.  This makes me furious!

I thought we all got it by now.  We have to own our greatness.  That means telling people who are too busy to notice what we’ve done t add value.  Yes, as girls we were socialized not to brag.  There are all sorts of subtle messages girls and women receive around not being too good or too smart.  Don’t be smarter than the man in the room.  And, I am here to tell you to GET OVER IT.  This is the sort of behavior that stands in the way of advancement.

Much as I think most performance management systems are crap, Ladies, this is the system many of us work in today.  You HAVE to learn how to play the game.

It almost always starts with the self-evaluation.  Even if the self-evaluation isn’t formal, most managers will ask you to evaluate yourself because it takes a lot of time for them.  If they don’t, offer to save them time…that way they only have to edit.

Now, this is where the money is.  Do that PARS/STARS format just like you’d do for rewriting your resume or preparing for a behavioral interview.  Don’t know what that is?  Send me an email.

Tell a story about every accomplishment.  And, by accomplishment, I mean result.  If you can quantify it, that’s best.  If you can approximate it with a number, do that.  Even if it is an intangible, use it as long as it’s plausible.

Don’t worry about your evaluation being too long.  It’s part of how, in my last corporate position,  my VP and I persuaded the company give my team double digit raises (several were close to 20%).

The well detailed evaluation has a two pronged effect.  One – It’s evidence. Two – people unconsciously think that you must be really something if someone took that much time to make a detailed view.

Finally, OWN it.  You have to be able to talk about what you’ve accomplished in a confident way.

It’s rare that others will value you until you value you.  It’s human nature to think they must be missing something, because people expect that you know your worth.  Only the rare supervisor will believe in you when you behave like you don’t believe in yourself, and you still make their job harder, because chances are the next person up on the chain picks up on your false modesty vibe.

Be Your Best You Today,

Carolann

Did you know that 89-90% of jobs right now are found through business networking?

In robust economies, online job postings work, but in slower economies, many employers don’t bother to post job openings, even on their own company websites. Why? Because they don’t have the capacity to handle the volume of resumes that they know will come in. They know they can find someone excellent through referral.

So, what does this have to do with the employed professional (and the small business owner for that matter)?

We tend not to keep in contact with the people they’ve worked with or the people they’ve met at industry events, association meetings or career management groups. Moreover, when we’re employed and busy, we tend to quit going to networking events altogether. It’s a rare corporate employee who feels secure in their position today. Depending on the level on the ladder, it is taking anywhere from 6-10 months on average for white collar employees to find another job after they’ve been displaced. Take a nice round salary of $75,000… even at the low end, we are looking at about $30,000-ish in lost revenue, assuming some unemployment. OUCH!

I don’t have a statistic for people who have robust, connected networks and the length of their job search when they are displaced. Anecdotally, what I’ve noticed is that people who stay connected and active with their networks find opportunities faster. Part of that may be that they are more proactive and have more accomplishments than the average candidate. I think it has to do with having the opportunity to get in front of someone to be able to put that foot forward. Too busy, you say? $30K of busy?

I know many of you have families and activities and that you already spend enough time away from home. So, I have some practical solutions. Join three monthly groups. Most monthly groups meet on a predetermined schedule, so you shouldn’t have many issues putting them on your calendar and planning whatever childcare/eldercare/petcare you need so that you’re available. I recommend two industry groups, like one for your career and one for your industry (like PMI and SHRM if you’re a project manager in the HR industry). Make the third something that interests you, perhaps a women’s group or a leadership group.

Join Linked In, Twitter and Facebook, and spend a little time (no more than a half hour a day) connecting with people.

Finally, keep in touch. I’ve been using Friday afternoons as “Follow Up Friday.” I make it a point to email or phone someone I haven’t spoken with in a long time. Set aside an hour, and make it sacred.

For those of you who don’t network because you don’t feel like you do it effectively, I recommend two resources. One is a book by Dean Lindsay, “Cracking the Networking Code.” If you really want to knock it out of the park, I recommend Jeff Klein’s teleseminar “Networking Your Way To Success.”

It doesn’t have to take hours and hours out of your busy schedule to keep connected to your network. It just takes desire and commitment.

Photo by heather powazek champ

After Tuesday’s post, I got several private messages about the boss’s suckage.  What?  No comments on the blog?

So, what do you do when your boss sucks the air out of a room like a human tornado?

Quit.

OK, you knew that and it was too easy. And, we’ll get back to that.

Let’s start with looking at what we know about human behavior and how we may be missing some opportunities.  When someone isn’t performing the way we’d like, we often make assumptions about their motivations.  We tell ourselves a story, because that’s the way our brain works to create memories.   “My boss sucks” or “My boss is an a$$hat” fall into that category.

Also, when people are afraid or under stress, they have certain “stress behaviors” that they use to cope.  These are automatic and habitual (and sometimes not pretty), and may be completely out of alignment with who the person really is.  That said, what are the potential opportunities?

One potential is to find the person underneath the hat by building a more trusting, more two-way relationship.  I work with middle managers to help them build the skills to navigate this difficult conversation, and many times they are shocked at the change once they’ve created that conversation in a different way.  By looking at the patterns, changing the roles and creating the environment for honest dialog, everything can change.

This works a lot more than people give it credit for, because they usually find conversations with a boss they don’t like fraught and and so they just avoid them.  In my own personal experience and that of my middle management clients, having this conversation has fixed the problem.

But I am a realist, and there will be occasions when the boss really is clueless person masquerading as an a$$hat.  In this situation, it’s just best to tell them what you want them to do.  Nicely.  As a request. Because, sometimes they really don’t know.  (And, we have to get over that they really should know.)

And, sometimes the boss just is an a$$hat.  Many times the clue-in is the crowd.  They tend to flock together.

What then?

You could just wait it out.  This is not a good option if you’re using it to avoid dealing with an issue because then it festers and you get the added bonus of feeling victimized along with stressed out and unappreciated.

So, when would you wait it out?

When you sense that the problem will be dealt with. Remember, many HR actions can take more than 6 months, but it isn’t like companies make this public, although people may hint.  When you really like the whole package that the company offers in terms of experience, growth and culture and this is just one bad apple.

There are times when the situation is impossible, and it is time to go.  I worked for a Vice President who enjoyed tormenting people, so I understand from painful personal experience that sometimes the situation isn’t salvageable.  However, wallowing in the burnout and turning into a bitter, depressed victim doesn’t attract opportunity nor help our reputations as a brilliant leaders.

Understanding that it may take 6-9 months to find that next position in this economy, perhaps quitting outright isn’t a great option for you.  Building your exit strategy and executing on it is.  It becomes much easier to be unruffled when you are in action.  And, we feel proud and confident when we’re in action.

Here is something to keep in mind.  When we don’t build the behaviors we need to navigate those difficult relationships, we often find ourselves in the same boat again and again.  (Have you ever found that you’re working for basically the same a$$hat again and again?)  We tend to attract what we know.  This is one reason why clients hire a coach.  They want to see what they can’t see and then build a grow in a way that lasts.

I invite you, just for today, to adopt a more generous view of why your boss sucks like a hoover.  It has the power to open up possibilities you may have missed.

Be Your Best You Today,

Carolann

My friend, Dean Lindsay, Progress Agent, public speaker and author of Cracking the Networking Code offers advice about how you can create your own curb appeal on his blog. I recommend a look.

Be Your Best You Today,

Carolann

p.s. – We have one final “Discover the Top 3 Mistakes that Job Seekers Make and How to Avoid Them” preview call before the next Replacement For Outplacement Bootcamp starts.  Curb appeal is important for any job seeker, and I invite you to register today.