One day, Knight drank out of the communal water bowl, and Ponca beat the living hoo-ha out of him.  Alpha Dog disciplined her so forcefully that all of Team Dog scattered.  What Ponca learned from this emotional trauma was to never drink out of the dog bowl again.  Toilet, yes. Bowl, no.

The reason I tell you this story is that it illustrates human behavior perfectly.  When someone has a significant emotional event (hereafter, I will call it a SEE), they will often create something we coaches call a Limiting Decision.  This decision is usually along the lines of, “I will never do that again,” and it parks itself in the unconscious.  That means, when that person runs into a similar situation or context, the “I’m not going to to that,” behavior triggers automatically.

The reason why this happens is that a SEE gets processed just like pain.   The brain sees emotions like humiliation as social threats, and this triggers the fight or flight.  The unconscious’  job is to avoid pain.

You see from this example why helping your employees to create Limiting Decisions can backfire.  Clearly, Alpha Dog’s intent was for Ponca to quit beating up the other team member, not to stop using the water bowl.

Is Humiliation a Leadership Tool?

In 99% of situations, no.  There may be an exception for the military… maybe… but it Corporate America and your Small Business, as a leader it makes you look like a bully who doesn’t have the emotional intelligence to lead the situation differently.  And you risk earning the contempt of your staff.

What do you think?

Be Your Best You Today,

Carolann

We all have a default mode for dealing with conflict. Some people use the “my way or the highway” approach. Others are passive-aggressive. Others stuff their point of view down like a philly cheesesteak, and what comes back up when they get a overstuffed ain’t pretty.

It called to mind something that happened in my career several years ago. I was at a management retreat in a breakout session. We were providing input to HR about what we wanted to see updated in the performance management policy. The reason for the discussion stemmed from a very acrimonious forced ranking process the year before. At the end of the day, managers were furious with each other, the employees were furious at management, and no one, including H,R had the energy for a repeat.

So, I’d been in the job about 2 months, and my intention was to sit back and listen. Now, for the record, my default conflict tools are Accommodating and Avoiding (believe it or not, my way or the highway is not my default). However, step on my values and I squeal.

Iago, a mid-level executive, believed that the issue wasn’t the process, it was being so transparent about it. The gist was that we shouldn’t tell our staff about what constitutes good performance or the process around how we determine a performance rating, so then we wouldn’t be on the firing line when exceptional employees didn’t get the rating and raise they expected.

As you might guess, I am wholeheartedly opposed to lying to people about that which directly affects them. I am also opposed to sham processes. Frankly, this wasn’t performance management, it was salary management, and why bother pretending otherwise.

My real issue is something larger. As I was voicing my outrage, I realized that save the HR generalist, the rest of the room agreed that lying to avoid having the difficult conversation was perfectly fine with them. That’s a whole company full of weak leaders.

This is not a good leadership practice. It destroys trust. It reduces engagement. It increases employees dissatisfaction, and then people spend their energies in angst, worry, anger, gossip, and perhaps anti-social behavior instead of working together to produce a result. It’s bad for business and at some point, job karma says it will be bad for your career. It’s weak, and it’s beneath you.

If you find yourself tempted to lie instead of having that conversation, it’s time to woman (or man) up and be a leader that people want to follow.

If you don’t have the skills and/or the emotional fortitude to have difficult conversations in an empathetic, meaningful way, it’s your responsibility as a leader to close that gap. Mentors, leaders you admire, and coaches can help you with this.

We can’t create inspired workplaces by avoiding responsibility and lying. We do it by becoming great leaders and inspiring our tribe to be better.

Be Your Best You Today,
Carolann Jacobs

Photo by Nur Hussein - find the pic on Flickr, the story is hilarious!

We hear a lot about being results-focused and results-driven.  Results are important, and somewhere along the way, we’ve lost sight of the importance of the journey.

Case and point.  In 1959, Cuba had an illiteracy rate of 23%.  Post Castro revolution, in 1961, it was reduced to 4%.   Let’s just say, this wasn’t the kindest of processes, and yet, if the focus was on the result to wipe out illiteracy, they were astoundingly successful.

We do this in our organizations, albeit in less stark ways (most of the time).  In many organizations, when there is a particular result required, the company values, the work/life balance, attention to detail, good decision making, etc. go right out the window. 

This becomes a real issue when we are engaging in activities that by their nature are processes.  We’ve become so used to getting a result that if we don’t get a result or we don’t get the result we want right out of the gate, we call it a failure and quit.  Change course. 

(Now that I think about it, some corporate change initiatives look an awful lot like what I’m describing.  We do it until the first set-back and then it’s scrapped.)

Learning new behaviors is a process.  Sometimes we get the results we want, sometimes we don’t.  The point is that if we don’t acknowledge and reflect on the process itself, we can’t make lasting behavioral change.

Consider this.  10,000 seems to be the magic number for learning how to be an expert.  Daniel Coyle talks about this in his book “The Talent Code.”   Jose Bowen, the Dean of Southern Methodist University’s school of music, said in an interview on Kris Boyd’s radio show “Think” that until a kid has logged 10,000 of good practice time, they don’t know whether they’ll have the talent to be a professional. 

Brain science backs this up.  The concept of practicing often and correctly is important in making the distinction between good and great.  So, here, the focus on a good process is what ensures the good result.

So, back to the results focus at work.  If we’re not paying attention to doing things in the way that we want to do them in the future… the process… and rewarding the process successes along the way, how do we ever get out of fire fighting?  By focusing solely on the result, we accept inefficiencies and poor practice in the path.

Be Your Best You Today,

Carolann Jacobs

“Busy” is also where Managewhiches get tripped up.

Case Study 1:
Jennifer was on the receiving end of some “unpleasant” news. Her company was cutting back on hours for its hourly employees and reorganizing some of its work, and everyone was informed that “changes were coming” via mass email. Jennifer’s hours were cut in half (as she discovered by looking in the system for her schedule) and some of her duties were reassigned (as she discovered in an unfortunate incident when she showed up to work and someone else was doing her job).

Jennifer brought up to her management that as a process point, this isn’t the best way to deliver bad news.  In the case of the reassignment, there was nothing communicated, and it made for an awkward moment for both employees and the customers that were there to witness the exchange.

The response Jennifer got from her managebitch was thanks for the feedback and please refer to the mass email.  Afterall, with X number of people to manage that she was “too busy” to contact people directly.

Here’s what Jennifer inferred:

• My managebitch talks a good game about appreciation and caring, but she doesn’t care enough about us to take the time to communicate with us directly when there’s sensitive or bad news to deliver
• My managebitch always has to be right (that one comes from making it Jennier’s “fault” when her work was reassigned)

I look at Jennifer’s managewhich and wonder what it must be like for her to be so afraid that she can’t admit when she’s done something poorly or when she’s made a mistake.  And, I bet she learned this behavior from someone else in the organization.

The long term effect of this is that the trust is gone.  It may have been expedient and less time consuming to send the mass email, and it was also impersonal and insensitive.  Before you tell Jennifer to grow up, let’s remember the important role that emotions play in the workplace.  She may suck it up and put on a nice face, but inside, the trust is still gone.

Case Study 2:

Glenn was promoted to director 5 years ago.  At one time, he was considered “high potential,”  and he’s 2 years past when he “should have” received his next promotion.  Glenn doesn’t get it.  He works hard… and lot… on data points, reports, designs, etc.

Glenn overheard someone say that he isn’t seen as “executive material.”  Unfortunately, he didn’t feel comfortable hitting that person up for more information, even though the evesdropping was unintentional.  He asked me what I thought.  Truth is, I’m not onsite shadow coaching, so I don’t have as much information as I might.  If I were to guess,  it is that he’s doing stuff he might want to consider delegating.  Getting work done through the efforts of others is one of the definitions of a great manager.  You don’t see VP’s mucking around in Excel formulas. His “too busy” may be saying “not executive material.”

Case Study #3:

Robert is consistently woefully behind on his email.  The result is that he responds to the most urgent of the emails without checking the back history or whether there is a more recent update.  The result is that he ends up reacting, instead of responding, without all the facts.  Rarely does this work in his favor.  He usually ends up tripping all over himself, and when he’s called on it, he’s honest…. too much email.

“Cant manage my email” = “Can’t manage my work” = “Ineffective manager.”  This is an administration problem better fixed than named as an excuse for doing a poor job.

So, when does “too busy” work?  When you’re saying no to doing too much.

Be Your Best You Today,

Carolann Jacobs

Corporate America has taken one of it’s better opportunities for engagement and celebration and turned it into a administrivia-laden stress-inducing B.S.-laden process that’s designed to control compensation as opposed to inspire great performance.  In the end, most people feel demoralized.  (If your experience is different, I’d love to hear about it.)

All that said, you have the power to make the experience different for your folks, and I recommend that you do.  Here are three things you can do this year to make the annual review a win for your staff:

Understand thoroughly how the performance management and review process works in your company.  Rarely does it work the way it’s documented, and be very candid with your staff about what’s involved.  For example, most companies don’t disclose that they score on a bell curve (I.e. there are only so many “Exceeds” to go around).  This is important for setting expectations, because you may think that Jane walks on water, but Jane’s “Exceeds Expecations” may get reduced when management 3-levels up makes the final cuts.

DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT (did I say do not?) promise anything about raises, promotions, or bonuses unless they have been approved by HR.  I mean it.  If there is a place to get burned, this is it.  What happens is that you want to be a good guy and you tell someone to expect good things, and then, later in the part of the process that you’re not involved in, your person gets knocked down to fit in the bell curve.  Not good.

Acknowledge and celebrate successes.  Do it privately in the review.  Hit what’s good about that person hard. Look for opportunities for development (“how you can be even better next year”) as opposed to ways to make the person wrong. That said, if there is a true performance issue, be direct and kind and address it. Have a team lunch or pot luck or conference call to celebrate your team and your appreciation of the efforts they make and who they are.  One thing that one of my clients did that I think is really special is that she wrote down 2 or 3 things that she appreciated about each person on her staff and shared that at their final meeting for the year.

Here are three things you can do for next year:

Plan for success.  Create goals and objectives that are meaningful and doable.  If your success depends on another group, get together and align those goals.  Nothing like getting left holding the bag at the end of the year, yes?

Teach your staff how to write out their accomplishments in the STARS format and have them do it throughout the year.  It’s good for their resume, and it makes life easier for you.  You’ll have a mostly filled out review at the end of the year.  Review these along with performance issues during the year. You’ll have your comments all ready to go.  And, you’ll have much more specific documentation at your fingertips for when it comes time to influence others as to why your people deserve raises and promotions.  There is little better for managing down than getting people raises and promotions.

And, for next year… if you lack the influence and negotiating skills to get wins for your staff, consider putting that on your personal development plan.

This year, I am going to do something special.  At this time of year, I offer a “Close Out the Old, Bring in the New” complimentary consultation for anyone who wants to set themselves up for success in the coming year.  In addition, this year, I am going to send the accompanying worksheets to all of eZine subscribers.  If you’re not a subscriber on the eZine (and I don’t know why you wouldn’t be if you love my blog), I’m giving you fair warning so that this is coming so that you can receive it.   Sign up right here:

Be Your Best You Today,
Carolann Jacobs

The Managewhich was describing how other groups are rewarded for complaining (as opposed to problem-solving),  how other managers were giving undocumented vacation days in exchange for excessive for overtime, and other “rule-breaking” perks.  Her point of view is that the rules were put in place for a reason.  She follows the rules, and it makes her look like the bad guy when she doesn’t break them and others do.  She wants to influence her peers to follow the rules.

So, what got my hackles up is that back in the day, I did give people time off after they had worked overtime, and many times, I didn’t document it because the  company’s policy was not to give comp time.  I thought I was being humane.  And, I do think it’s patently unfair to require people to work 60+ hours a week and then dock them personal or vacation time to go to the doctor.  I don’t subscribe to the point of view that rules make things fair.  My point of view is more that most rules were put in place so that there is a written policy in place for firing underperformers.  Most rules are there to manage the exceptions, such those without a work ethic.  They aren’t there to replace judgment, leadership or management.  My priority was creating a staff happy, engaged, productive people who wanted to go the extra mile.

And, I can see her point because her value system places a high value in company policy, and if she’s being authentic to her values, her staff is being treated differently.  That’s a problem.

Her peers think she should mind her own business, and they see her as a meddlesome troublemaker.  They, too, have a point.

Then she said something else that got me to thinking.  She said that if she were a man, her point of view would command more respect.  My first thought (I admit with some trepidation), “If you were a man, you wouldn’t be behaving this way.”  In my experience, I’ve never seen a male Managewhich self appoint himself as the Policy Police, and I’m wondering if this isn’t one of those gender things.

My questions for you are:

• What’s your view on “the rules”?
• Do you think that self appointing oneself as the Policy Police is a primarily feminine behavior or do men in managewhich positions do it, too?
• If you do see men in the Policy Police role, do they do it differently?
• What would you do in this situation?

Please respond in the comments section below.

Be Your Best You Today,

Carolann Jacobs

p.s. – The beta version of Improve Performance NOW! kicks off in January, and it will cover topics like these (your challenges and dilemmas) in addition to foundational leadership skills and behaviors.  If you’d like to participate or you know someone who might benefit from participating, please email me to set up a time to chat one-on-one.  There are only 10 spots available, and it’s first come, first serve.

Photo by Ryan Schultz

Her name is Oblivia.  She’s nice.  People like her.  And, she can’t get anything done.

Have you ever worked with someone who is Unconsciously Incompetent?  That is to say, that they are so incompetent that they don’t even know that they are incompetent?

It’s rare.  Most of us know when we really, truly suck at something.  However, there are times…

My friend is currently in this situation, and Oblivia is one of her directs who is just… unsuited to the task at hand.  It never should have gone on this long, of course.  She’s reported to manager after manager who never effectively dealt with the fact that she wasn’t able to do her job.   When my friend checked into it, turns out she’s far from the only one to have this opinion.  While most people really like Oblivia,  they tend to go around her when they actually need something done.

One of the challenges of dealing with an Oblivia, is that she really doesn’t “get it.”  It may be that she can’t “get it.”   Unfortunately, she’s never had to “get it.”  This is a strategy/behavior that’s worked well for Oblivia, because generally speaking her management has just given up.

Besides the obvious-to-everyone-except-Oblivia problem that she’s bringing the group down, Oblivia probably will be the first downsized in this kind of economy.  She’ll have trouble landing her next position, because her reputation is as an incompetent.  That translates into fewer introductions and still fewer recommendations.   Chances are, she won’t receive or won’t be able to hear the feedback she needs to correct course, because people want to be “nice.”

As leaders, it’s part of our role to help people find their place.  That’s what makes us leaders worth following.

I tried to do that back in the days that I managed people.  In fact, successfully helping someone into a career that they loved was one of the most satisfying days of my career, and it’s one of the experiences that led me into coaching.  That’s me.  For you, the Managewhich, it’s more about growing yourself as you step up as both a business and a life leader.

There are some fringe benefits to this “habit.”  If  the Managewhich can find that “better job” in the company, the company usually gets a valuable asset in someone who knows what’s going on and who is engaged in doing his best work.  If the Managewhich can’t find that position within the company, she’s effectively managed this person out in a good way.   And, she’s created space for someone better qualified.  The Managewhich also can avoid that demoralizing, paralyzing, time-wasting, energy-sucking performance improvement plan process, when successful in this approach.  And, the former Oblivia is generally happier and appreciates the efforts made on her behalf.  Those people tend to be better partners as we go through this life called business.

My friend has taken more of a “coach approach.”  We are a bit farther down the road in this situation as my friend has already effectively had the feedback conversations.  So, Oblivia does know that from a purely fact-based perspective, Oblivia’s results don’t match the desired results.  Oblivia also feels that her job is “hard,” a good realization.  Now, the challenge is that she continues to want to try new approaches, and she’s out of time.

One of the keys to helping Oblivia find herself is finding out what it is about this position that Oblivia is so attached to.  More than likely, it is one of the following:

• Security or Comfort.  She’s been promoted past her level of competence and is afraid to take on something new.  Perhaps the thought of making a change is too overwhelming.
• Prestige.  The brain processes loss of social standing in the same way that it processes a physical threat.
• Social Connection.  We spend most of our working hours in the office, and for many of us, these people are our extended family.

For this Oblivia, her trigger is prestige.  One of the clues is that as my friend and Oblivia have discussed new roles, Oblivia is attracted to positions because of their prestige factor, as opposed to whether she would enjoy performing in that role.

What we really need here is the Reverend Mother from the Sound of Music to solve the problem like Maria.

My friend will probably take one last pass and then hire a coach to help Oblivia find her what’s next.  The keys are uncovering the talents and marrying them up with Vision and Values.

Be Your Best You Today,

Carolann

p.s. – If Oblivia works for you, I may be able to help.  Email me for a consult.

Photo by Daniel R. Blume

One of the recurring dilemmas for the Managewich is the balance between managing up and down.  Today we’re going to examine the phenomenon of  having to produce worthless crap that adds no value simply because the boss says so.

Take my friend Breeze. Her boss, Hoover, continually asks for this spreadsheet or that report, all of which demands that Breeze and her team drop whatever [productive] work they are doing to deliver this new requirement ASAP.

Breeze is stuck in the middle.  She views saying no as disappointing  Hoover or seeming uncooperative, so she almost always accepts the work.  So, she chooses to manage down (although it looks more like pulling rank than managing or leading).  She’s frazzled, and she doesn’t see that her team often sees her as ineffective.

Breeze’s behavior is ineffective, and worse yet, it isn’t serving her or her staff.  Her team has no problem pushing back on her, and this usually ends either  in her telling someone on her team to “just do it” and that person resentfully sulking off to their cube to half-heartedly complete the task or her doing the work just as resentfully herself.   And, when something else is necessary and urgent, that good-will in the bank’s already been spent.

There also comes a point at which the deadline for the “real” work is missed, and then, she’s held accountable.  She tries to mitigate that by working herself and her team longer hours to get it all done.  Her team resents that she doesn’t protect them from Hoover’s whims.  And, Breeze won’t be promoted this year or any year.  She’ll get a review that looks much like last year’s – hearty praise for her work ethic, vague criticism about her maturity as a manager (as evidenced by the late work) and a mediocre score.

As a coach, it’s my job to help her understand this pattern which is holding her back and help her create a vision of what she really wants for her group.  This empowers her, and is the cornerstone for the strategy that gets her there.

I made a request to Breeze that she not accept work until one of three circumstances occurred. We’ll look at one today.

The best scenario is that she fully understands why this spreadsheet or report is important and urgent.  This strategy helps in a few ways.  Nine times out of ten, Hoover has pulled this request out of his Flame Trap Hose in response to something that’s come up.  He’s come up with this new report or spreadsheet as a response, and oftentimes, what he’s asked them to do won’t get him what he wants anyway.  Breeze and her team may have a better way of getting what he needs.  After talking it through with Breeze, he may realize this isn’t the direction to go.

Hoover views questions as challenges, which is partly why Breeze has never asked questions except for clarity.  We’ve worked on her approach a little bit.  When Hoover wants to know why she’s asking,  she’ll say something along the lines of, “You and I aren’t the closest to this information anymore.  Susie-On-My-Team may have a better path to get you exactly what you want.”  Or, “I want to be able to give you what you want, and if I understand what you’re looking for and how you plan to use it, it helps me do that.”

Breeze has been able to find a way to ask questions that Hoover doesn’t find threatening.  As a result, Hoover views her as more of a partner and involves her earlier.  Breeze also understands a little more about the challenges facing Hoover, the largest being he hasn’t found an effective way to manage his larger group which has necessitated his need for data.

Still, Hoover’s a pretty tactical guy and Breeze remains sensitive and reactive to his mood.  Next post, we’ll explore Breeze’s next move to regain control and get out of the middle.

Be Your Best You Today,

Carolann

Managewiches, I am there to beat the drum for the cause.   Some of the topics I plan to hit:

• Why middle managers are integral to execution
• Why leadership is important in all levels of the organization
• What’s so important about engagement
• Creating environments where people want to do their best work means more money for all involved
• The most effective thing organizations can do to create a leadership culture

Please encourage your management to listen with us!  Live streaming and podcast will be available at http://www.biznetbrunch.com.   And, please spread the word.  We can change the culture together.

Be Your Best You Today,

Carolann

Think about a time when change was easy.  What made it easy?

For me, a good example to illustrate how change does and doesn’t work is recycling.

At first, to recycle, we had to separate cans, glass and paper,  and we had to sort through the plastics for the ones that could be recycled.  There was a special, thinner, less sturdy bag that we had to use.  We had to take it to the recycling center ourselves.  I quit somewhere in the middle of the first bag of cans.

Then, the city gave us separate bins for cans, glass and plastic.  This was better, but the bins were too small, and I had to carry them out to the curb.  The open bins attracted flies, and my back started to hurt.  So I quit.

After that, the city provided large bins with wheels.  These were partitioned.  So now, I recycled my plastic, cans and glass, because we could put those all in the same trash can.  Having two trash cans in the kitchen wasn’t so bad.  We ended up tossing a lot of paper… but oh well.

Now, we put all of it in the same recycling trash can and it all goes unsorted into the recycling bin, which the trash fairy (my husband) wheels out to the curb. (No, I’m not delegating out the unpleasant tasks…well OK, maybe I am.)

Ok… so what can we learn about change in your business from this example?

I think all of us can agree that recycling is a good idea.  A good idea alone isn’t good enough to create sustainable change.  What does that say about a mediocre or bad idea?

I wanted to be a better citizen and create less of a carbon footprint.  Wanting to change is a key element.  Do I even have to ask what happens to most change initiatives when no one is on board?

There is an inverse correlation between obstacles and motivation.  The reward becomes not worth the effort.  This is partly why carrot and stick fails so miserably when we’re trying to change behavior at work.  The carrot isn’t big enough, and the stick shuts down the thinking brain (see yesterday’s blog post).  What happens to your change initiative when your reward for making the change is more work?

One answer is to lobby for smarter change.  Change is the only constant, and being adaptable is a success behavior.  That said, examining whether the change is worth undertaking is an important exercise, and it can be scary when the change is coming from on high.  Respectfully approach the leadership and voice concerns in a well thought out (and did I say respectful?) way.  Remember, you don’t want to trigger fight in your leadership.  A what’s in it for them approach is probably your best bet.

Another answer is to get out in front of the change and analyze what the obstacles are going to be and how to mitigate them.  What’s going to make people want to make the change?  What are the rewards going to be?

Change can be easy in the right circumstance.  Leaders rise above the managewich by successfully creating those environments.  More about that in the next post.

Be Your Best You Today,

Carolann Jacobs