Photo by Josh Harper

Q: I am a middle manager in a mid-sized technology company.  For the last three years, I have received an “exceeds expectations” on my reviews.  I am at the top of my job grade (band), and I’ve applied for positions with higher responsibility twice.  Both times, I was passed over.  Once, it was for an external candidate who’s now come and gone.  That time, my manager told me that the company was looking for someone “more seasoned.  “The second time, the position went to one of my peers whom I don’t think was as qualified.  The excuse they gave me was that I needed to improve my communication skills.  I’ve always been known as being an excellent communicator both verbal and written.  What’s going on?

A:  I can understand how frustrated you must be, and I hear this a lot from middle managers.  They’re working harder than ever, and they feel like they aren’t reaping the rewards.

I don’t know exactly what’s going on, but from my experience wokring with executives and middle managers I can help you to get to the bottom of this.

Let’s start with the issue of honest feedback.  One of the things I work with my clients on is giving feedback in a way that the recipient can hear it.  Many times, managers just don’t want to deliver bad news.  And so, they use code phrases like “more maturity,” “more seasoned,” or “better communication skills.”  This isn’t helpful for you, nor does it help them develop the kind of leader they’re going to need for the long term, but there you have it.

You need that feedback. So, how are you going to get it?

First, you have to take a hard look at you.  Can you take hearing what may be said without becoming upset of defensive?  If not, that’s something to work on, because someone who doesn’t like themselves when they have to deliver bad news will shut off as soon as they see your discomfort.

Second, schedule time with your manager and anyone else your manager might think would be helpful and ask them for their candor.  Schedule time with trusted peers (and make sure it doesn’t degenerate into a gripe-fest).

Good questions to ask:

• “What exactly did you mean when you said that I needed more seasoning?”
• “How can I demonstrate better communication skills?”
• “What do I need to develop to get to the next level?”
• (My favorite) “What do I need to develop to help you shine more brightly?”

Do your best to get some specifics.  Be patient, this may take some time, especially if you’ve been known to be reactive in the past.  And, if you have been known to be reactive in the past, this is something that will hold you back.  This may, in fact, be “it.”

Finally, listen carefully in these conversations for experience and behaviors that you may need to develop.  Sometimes they too are communicated in vagaries, so it’s up to you to stay curious and keep asking for clarification.

Best of luck, and Be Your Best You Today,

Carolann

Photo by Tim O'Brien

Q:  I am so overwhelmed.  I work in Human Resources for a mid-size business, and we’re having to reduce our staff.  I’ve worked side-by-side for several years with many of these people, and it breaks my heart that we’re having to do this.  How can I make this easier for them.

A: First, I want to acknowledge that this is hard for you, and I commend you for going the extra mile to ask the question.  Let me give you some do’s and don’ts to help you move forward in a more positive manner.

Do: Recognize that this is going to be difficult and emotional for you and the person receiving the news.  It is OK to be empathetic.

Don’t:  Shut down emotionally.  It’s tempting, because no one wants to be a sobbing ball under their desk.  However, when the person delivering the hard news is “all business,” they appear cold and uncaring.  That sometimes hurts more than the news itself, and it ruins the good will that you and your company may have built over the years.

Do:  Give yourself a break.  This isn’t going to be an easy time for you.  No one likes to be the bearer of bad news.

Don’t:  Treat the laid-off worker like a criminal.  Unless there is some reason to suspect that an individual will cause problems, allow them to pack up and say good-bye with dignity, if that’s possible in your company.

Do: Create a package of resources for the laid off employee.  Most cities have free and low cost options for career services.  Many religious institutions offer it as a part of their ministries.  Compile a list of these, as well as support groups and how to file for unemployment.

Don’t:  Make it difficult for the terminated employee to get information after they leave.

Do: Be as open and honest with the remaining staff as you can be.  This is a traumatic event for them, too.

Do: Purchase outplacement services, if your company can afford it.  Outplacement services provide support, guidance, a place to go, information, seminars, training, and expert advice.  If your company can’t afford outplacement, look for alternatives.  Many coaches offer less expensive alternatives that yield comparable results.  The benefit to the company is again the goodwill, and it increases productivity and retention with the employees that remain.

Many people do come out of a reduction in force ahead of the game.  While it feels awful for all involved at the time, for many it creates opportunities they wouldn’t have otherwise.  Having help and support can be the key to getting a good or even great outcome.

Thanks for your question.

Be Your Best Self Today,

Carolann

p.s. – There is a definite cost in the “inspiration” part of the inspired workplace as people are involuntarily terminated.  Part of being an Inimitable Leader™ is being able to make those tough decisions and maintain the respect and commitment of those who remain.