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Posts Tagged ‘conflict management’

I’m not a Mule, and Get that Carrot Out of my Face!

I love this short video by Dan Pink about what motivates us.  As someone who’s mission is to create inspired workplaces, I think this says a lot about why traditional forms of performance management don’t work.

I attended that Dallas Drucker Society meeting last night, and one of the participants was talking about hiring a CFO.  She mentioned that she wouldn’t even consider a candidate if money were an issue.  She wants people who believe that if they do a good job the money will follow.  In uninspired workplaces, that’s simply not true.  They think they got a bargain.

How to Shut Screaming Mimi Up

Article #2 in the series “The Dirty Dozen of Bad Bosses”

Screaming Mimi costs the company more than she’s worth.   She’s needy, fickle, and stubborn, and her peers and subordinates never know when she’s going to throw a tantrum… and she’s still your boss.

As tempting and as justified as you may feel to assume the victim role in this story, it puts you in a position of powerlessness, and you lose the opportunity to grow.  Today, we’re going to take a more active and empowering approach.

Man (or Woman) Up! Curing the Epidemic of Weak Leadership

This morning I was attending the Young Women Executives Forum at the Tower Club, and today’s topic was Conflict Management. This is a topic that I hit with my coaching clients 100% of the time.

We all have a default mode for dealing with conflict. Some people use the “my way or the highway” approach. Others are passive-aggressive. Others stuff their point of view down like a philly cheesesteak, and what comes back up when they get a overstuffed ain’t pretty.

What Got You Here May Not Get You There

Photo By Dani

When met with what seems to be a familiar situation, humans behave based on habit.  The brain is designed to operate based on patterns and filters, so it’s very quick to assess “Woah! something’s going on here” vs. “Oh, OK”  and respond accordingly.

By the way, it’s also the same mechanism that makes Bob’s name easier to remember than Atmajyoti’s, if you’re not Indian.

Managewhich Question: Who the “mans” the Role of Policy Police?

“The rules make it fair for everyone,”  a quote from one Managewhich who’s struggling with influencing and managing her peers.

The Managewhich was describing how other groups are rewarded for complaining (as opposed to problem-solving),  how other managers were giving undocumented vacation days in exchange for excessive for overtime, and other “rule-breaking” perks.  Her point of view is that the rules were put in place for a reason.  She follows the rules, and it makes her look like the bad guy when she doesn’t break them and others do.  She wants to influence her peers to follow the rules.

For the Managewhich and Business Owner: Who’s a Team Player?

Photo by Joseph Shemuel

Photo by Joseph Shemuel

Team Player is one of those phrases that we all assume we have the same definition for.  It’s one of the performance management buzz-phrases that shows on reviews and on job descriptions.  And, we all think we know what it means, but do we?

HR Thinks Bob is a Sociopath, and They Hired a Coach?

Photo by chriss

Photo by chriss

In yesterday’s post, I talked about “Bob,” a VP at a large company who has more than 50 HR complaints lodged against him.  The HR director chatted with me about it, because she’d read The Sociopath Next Door and thought that it described Bob pretty accurately.  That said, she hoped that some coaching might work a miracle.

A Sociopath in a VP’s Clothing? (Not Talking about Dick Cheney)

Photo by thom

Photo by thom

I was recently conversing with an HR director about some of her challenges, and she told me this story:

Bob* (not his real name) is a Senior Vice President in a large corporation.  He reorganizes his group about once a quarter as his direct reports fall in and out of favor.  In fact, there is a running, cynical joke about the major and minor reorg (Majors in March and September, Minors in June and January).  Some employees have a betting pool about who’s getting put where next.

Conquering the Sneakiest Source of Unnamed Conflict

Photo by Noyes

Photo by Noyes

My face is very expressive.  My husband calls me an eyeroller. I think about all the times that there is something going on, like a five hour stint with and without my web developer trying to get the branded page of my ezine to look right in 2 browsers and an email client (Aweber sucks!).  Sorry, I digress, and Aweber really does suck.  My DH almost always thinks that the frowns, the sighs, the groans of utter exasperation are directed at him and not at that timesucking Awber interface.

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