Posts Tagged ‘Executive Coach’
As a managewhich, one of the more frustrating challenges is dealing with people who do not play nicely together in the sandbox. Most of managewhich’s deal with it in one of three very ineffective ways:
- Ignore it, and hope it goes away.
- Do their best to separate them, so that there is minimal disruption to the team and the work product, and then we have to all ignore the hostility elephant in the room.
This could also be titled Playing to Win vs. Playing Not to Lose.
What tends to happen in frightening circumstances is that we pull in, physically and mentally. We play not to lose.
Making decisions out of fear is the hallmark. Many times, we know these decisions aren’t good ones, but we make and commit to them anyway, because we’re afraid of losing.
Living the Success Principles #4
Principle #3 in Jack Canfield’s The Success Principles is “Decide What You Want.” This, folks, is your vision. What do you want to be, do and have? My corollary on that is “Who do you want to be?” or maybe it’s “Who do you have to be to do and have what you want?”
Have you guys ever noticed how a lot of what I yap about here on the blog about business really translates back to life? If you haven’t noticed, then I want to highlight the point today.
One of the books on my shelf is The Power of TED (again, thank you Ken Abrams for turning me onto that), which is where I first learned of “The Dreaded Drama Triangle.” As a human effectiveness expert, the description of the drama triangle quoted from their book’s website made perfect sense to me:
Living the Success Principles #3
I haven’t written about my journey on the success principles in three months (oh my goodness!!!), and this is a good illustration about how time passes without forward movement. In other words, a vision without any action is a dream. To be fair and honest, I am doing between one and five things every day towards my big hairy goal, and my goal is aligned with my vision. In other words, I’m not just chasing the shiny thing.
In leadership coaching and consulting, I work with the best and the brightest, successful people. In the process, I hear many protestations about ”not wanting to play politics.” I get it. I didn’t want to participate in that, either. (In fact, most women don’t.) Truth be told, most people avoid politics because they don’t understand the rules. There is a distinction between making the choice to be ignorant and all of the choice points that come with knowing the rules of the game and making decisions accordingly. Yes?
I love this short video by Dan Pink about what motivates us. As someone who’s mission is to create inspired workplaces, I think this says a lot about why traditional forms of performance management don’t work.
I attended that Dallas Drucker Society meeting last night, and one of the participants was talking about hiring a CFO. She mentioned that she wouldn’t even consider a candidate if money were an issue. She wants people who believe that if they do a good job the money will follow. In uninspired workplaces, that’s simply not true. They think they got a bargain.
Article #2 in the series “The Dirty Dozen of Bad Bosses”
Screaming Mimi costs the company more than she’s worth. She’s needy, fickle, and stubborn, and her peers and subordinates never know when she’s going to throw a tantrum… and she’s still your boss.
As tempting and as justified as you may feel to assume the victim role in this story, it puts you in a position of powerlessness, and you lose the opportunity to grow. Today, we’re going to take a more active and empowering approach.
This morning I was attending the Young Women Executives Forum at the Tower Club, and today’s topic was Conflict Management. This is a topic that I hit with my coaching clients 100% of the time.
We all have a default mode for dealing with conflict. Some people use the “my way or the highway” approach. Others are passive-aggressive. Others stuff their point of view down like a philly cheesesteak, and what comes back up when they get a overstuffed ain’t pretty.
There’s been a lot of hype lately around escaping the cubicle. It isn’t for everyone. For many, it isn’t realistic considering their current resources, and for some people, going out on their own would be downright irresponsible.
Many of the people who call me looking for coaching services are miserable in their jobs, have been for a while. They’re fed up and burned out. They want to quit.